Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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