On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh god the rape fog is back!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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