So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
