What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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