how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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