No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
