I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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