Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
