My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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