they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
