I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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