Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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