first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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