You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
