I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
