please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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