i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize