Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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