Nicole vs. Life
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
