Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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