im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
