you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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