It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
