sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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