She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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