Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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