I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
