This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize