i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
