Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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