Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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