is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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