Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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