You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Let's get the cat blown out
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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