Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
