Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You're a disaster
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