Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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