yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its not stalking. its research.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
