Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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