THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
