She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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