Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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