saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize