It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
