No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
