My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
