...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize