did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
MIDGETS
????
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
