he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever