Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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