You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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