I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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