how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
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My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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