Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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