just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
wow bdsm is so cute
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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