Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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