she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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