This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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