My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize