too bad you live with your parents still
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
