It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
