he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
